dwrigsby

Live Out Your Story

Author: DWRigsby (page 1 of 5)

Living a Happier Life as a Pirate

happier-life

You want to be happier? Maybe even content? How about feeling an abundance of joy?

I know, I know. You say you can’t but it’s not true. You see that picture of me, and my wife. Do we look happy? Are we smiling? Of course we are – we are having a blast! We just finished running a 5K Pirate run with about a hundred or more other people. We didn’t take first place, we didn’t take second place, we didn’t even get close to third place but we are happy. We are having a great time.

So you want to be happier? The first thing I’m going to tell you is to get out, and start doing something. Anything! Stop sitting around your television. Stop sticking your nose into your mobile phone for crying out loud. Get a life will you! Don’t get upset with me. I use my phone too, but it’s not my life, this website is not my life, writing books and trying to sell those on Amazon is not my life, and my work is not my life.

Life is what you make it.

I recall my wife and I sitting around and being bored. Yes, bored people are dumb people. We do the same thing over and over and we expect a different result. Our conversations would start like this:

“So what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know, what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. ” There would be a short pause. “Want to go to the movies?”

“No.”

Followed by another short pause.

“Want do go out to eat?”

“No.”

Then there’s a longer pause as we try to figure out what can we do until one of us comes up  with an idea.

“Want to watch American Ninja Warrior?”

“Sure.”

By the way we love American Ninja Warrior, but that’s not my point.

That’s basically how things went. Our bored lives were uneventful lives. The “I don’t know? What do you want to do routine”, drove me mad. Years, and years of this back and forth. It was draining. On top of that doing weekly repeats of the movies or to grab a bite to eat lost its appeal. So, what did we do differently? Did we suddenly become pirates?

I decided to go hiking one day. I was hiking nearly everyday for several months. I decided to get out and walk the trails at the nearby state park. I bought a pass so I wouldn’t’ have to pay $5 bucks each time I entered the park. I got a veteran’s discount too…cool.  I didn’t know why I needed this and I didn’t see what was coming next. I just got off my ass and said to myself “put down the work, put down the writing, and go for a hike.” And I did.

I made myself do it. I didn’t degrade myself, I didn’t demean myself at all. I just told myself to go and do it. Get out. Get some air. Walk. Do something outside of your work, your house, the television, the phone, that freaking social media site that sucks the life out of you ever second you check the dam thing. Just get out. There’s life. It’s out there. Go and find it.

The remarkable thing that happened after I had been walking, and hiking on my own for a while was my wife started to join me. My sons, started to join me. We were hiking together after school, after work, and always when the sun was lower because let’s face it , it’s freaking hot in Florida in the summer, and the spring, and the fall. Hell even our winters can be hot sometimes. They call it the sunshine state for a reason.

After we had been hiking for a month or so, Lydia, my wife, had decided to sign up to run a half marathon at Disney World. I wrote about it in another blog. We started to run together, and we built up our stamina and now we run a 5K every weekend. We have a group we ran with this last nine weeks, training together. It’s really a lot of fun, you start to run into the same people, and even get to know a few folks. We cheer each other on, we clap, we yell, we have a great time.

I’m sure some people at the Pirate run were wondering who I was when I ran by them in my pirate outfit holding up a gold coin and saying “I’m running for me goooold”.

If they read this blog, they’ll know.

The Pirate run was just pure fun. It was better then going to the movies, better then going out to eat. The people we’ve spent time with the past nine weeks has been great. I can also say that the food at the end of the run was the best food I’d had in a while – it almost always is when you’re sweaty, tired, and hungry.

So, now you it’s your turn. Get out and start living a happier life as a pirate! Arrr!

Sincerely,

D.W. Rigsby

Running is Hard

5 mile age 44 July 2016

I’m older now, and I’m not able to do the things I once could do with ease. I recall a day when my friend, Craig, called me up to enter with him and his team to do a relay race. I think it was a state or county held event, I didn’t know. I’d never ran in a relay, and I mentioned that to him. He said I’d do fine.  They were down a runner, and needed someone who could run fast. I said sure, I’ll do it and showed up.

It was early morning, the sun was just coming up. People were everywhere dressed in shorts, sneakers, and with numbers on their backs. My friend and his two team mates waited for me on the track. We were introduced, and they said that I’d go last. All I needed to do was to grab the baton before a certain point, but to start my run first and make sure the hand off went smooth. Okay, I thought. Shouldn’t be hard. I was actually terrified but I didn’t let it show.

There was an announcement made, and we were set to run our race. We all got close to the track, and the first runner on our team was up. A horn blew, and he was off running smooth, and fast. He had made it around the track and handed off the baton to his team mate. The new runner was gone in a flash, elbows hammering away, feet pounding the ground, and  doing well.

Craig was next, and I was shaking all over.  I tried to ease the shakes by taking deep breaths, trying to keep my cool but nothing was working. I jumped up and down in place, flicking my arms and hands out in an attempt to calm my nerves. Nothing.

My friend was up, and ready. The other runner came around, and he handed the baton off smooth and easy. I watched, taking in how they did it, to absorb and understand the movement. I mimed the hand off on my own, to be sure I got it.  Craig was off and making it around. My turn was coming. My heart raced, my palms were clammy. I got onto the track, watching, waiting. He was almost here.

I started off, slow, steady just like I’d seen and he rounded the corner, and then he handed the baton off to me. I looked back, making sure to keep my eyes on the baton, making sure I didn’t drop it. It was in my hand, and I gripped it hard, faced down the track and off I went. I was giving it my all. My heart beat hard against my chest. My arms were swinging fast and smooth. My knees high, my feet out, and my conviction set.

I was doing well but then about three quarters of the way I started to slow down, and I was trying to keep my pace. I heard a man call from the side telling me not to quit, keep pushing. I did but I had nothing left. My legs wobbled, my thoughts confused. Could I make it, would I make it, I had to make it. I kept on, pushing with all I had, all my strength, all my will. I drove it all into that moment, into that point in time, and then I was across the finish.

I stumbled to a stop, my legs were like jelly and I heaved in large gulps of air. I’d never done that before, never tested myself to that extent, and now I’d find out if I’d done well or if I was a disappointment.

I looked at the other guys, and their eyes were wide with disbelief. I had done horrible, I felt ashamed. I wanted to go home.

My friend came up to me and patted me on the back and the other guys did the same. Something was different, I’d done something good. Did I? Craig began to tell me my time. He said I’d ran it in 54 seconds. I asked if that was good. He nodded, then said very good and that I had the fastest time out of all of them. I was astonished. I never trained, I never tried, I was never tested until now. I didn’t know I could do this, I didn’t know I was good at it, but here was my friend, and his team mates confirming I’d done well.

I’ll never forget that day. It was a good day. I was glad to have done so well for my friend. I didn’t want to let him down. That feeling inside was what pushed me. It wasn’t to win, it wasn’t to be better than the other guys on the team, it was to make my friend proud. I wanted him to know that I would go all out, I would do whatever I could to not let him down.

Years later I’ve taken running back up. I can’t run like I use to run. It’s harder now. I tested myself this morning, after training the last few months to run an 5K. I can run one lap at 72 seconds. Will I get faster? Time will tell but I doubt I’ll be able to run like I did when I was fifteen years old. Running is hard, but am I doing it to prove something? Am I doing it to win? No. I’m doing this because it’s hard. I’m doing this because it will test me.

Years ago it was a great feeling. Even better because I never let my friend down. Though I must admit. I am running – not for me, but for a friend. I’m running for my wife. She wants to run a half marathon. I’m out there to encourage her, I’m out there in the morning, I’m out there inviting her in the evening to exercise. Why? Because I want to give my all, I want her to see I’m here, and I don’t want to let her down.

Running is hard. Life is hard. Who’s in your life? What would you do for them? Would you give your all? Can you be counted on?

Be an inspiration for another, do something hard and you might just find out that you can do more than you ever imagined.

Find out more on Lydia’s journey – Lydia’s half marathon and consider making  a donation. – Donation

Sincerely,

D.W. Rigsby

 

4th of July Free Books

To All those Readers who love books, free ones! I’m giving away two of my books – yes they are the only two I have published at the moment but drop by and grab one or both.  Oh, and tell a friend. All your friends! Happy 4th of July.

When: July 3-4 2016

Free Kindle Downloads:

The Broken Christmas Tree

Tokus Numas

TK Ebook RGB - v2TBCT-1

PS: Kindle is an application. Just download it onto your end device and have fun reading.

Sincerely,

D.W. Rigsby

Relationship – from an Author to the Page

When I first started to write, back nearly eight years ago, I thought I could create a book and have it published in six months. I was right, I could, but the quality was lacking. My first novel as I went through it, didn’t make much sense and was all over the place. I tried in vain to write it over, and over, cutting at it like a surgeon hooped up on medications, severing all the parts into a mutilated mess. I went from a surgeon, to a mad doctor of words, and pages. I pieced my work together and it resembled a monster, held together with stitches, hacked scenes, and patched sentences. None of it worked. Horrified I put my first novel down and started on a new book.

This time it would be different, this time I’d write in a way it would make it easier to do the rewrite. So, I slowed my pace, thought it out, and kept the pages turning, writing the most boring words on this planet one could endure.  I again was horrified, there on the white sheets of digital pages were my thoughts, my words, and they bored the complete hell out of me. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong, couldn’t see clearly enough, so I did what other novelist often do – I turned to screen writing. It will be easier no doubt, I don’t have to come up with all those details and I see stories more like movies in my head anyway. I created my first screen play after toying with it for nearly a year – it was bad. Truly it was. The strange thing is, as an author,I tend to think what I’ve written is wonderful and the world is going to love it. It’s not until I come down out of the clouds do I realize what I’ve created is a travesty that no one should bear to see or read. Yet I entered a contest with my first screen play and well, didn’t even place, that was completely unexpected as I told myself. I had done a pretty good job, but deep down I didn’t and when I read the pages again I could see it was true.

Now, my perspective has changed over the many years of writing. I’ve found what I’ve been trying to do was going against what was really happening. I learned I was developing a relationship with the pages in front of me, the words, the sentences, the thought and structure. All of it had a relationship to me. Learning this gave me some pause, knowing that all relationships take time, all relationships have ups, they have downs, they even experience trying times. The relationships which last are by far the most precious in our lives.  Aren’t they? The struggles which are endured together often form the strongest bonds, and there begins something else – trust, but not just trust. reliance. A strong relationship can be relied upon, and the truth can be told without fear of severing this bond. Truth often allows us to live free of ourselves, and what the pages have told me over time is truth. Truth in what is on the page, it doesn’t hide my mistakes any longer, we are way past that point. My relationship with the page is strong, a bond which took many years, many troubling times, many thoughts of quitting.

I look back and wonder what if I had quit, gave up on forming this relationship with the page, forming my thoughts for others to see, what would I be like now? Well, I’d be without something close to my heart. I’m glad I didn’t give up, and I’m glad for the struggles which have formed this author’s relationship with the page.

Sincerely,

D.W. Rigsby

Happy Mother’s Day Mom

scan0778Mom

 

Hi Sandra Rigsby – AKA Mom,

Mother’s day is coming soon and I still don”t know what to get you. All these years I cannot recount all the wonderful things about you.  So, I’m going to put some of my thoughts down on the page and see what I can arrange.

– I know you like horses, always so close to your heart. I recall being around them from an early start. You brushing them down and feeding them too, riding them around and having a hoot. You never owned any horses and that is true, if you think really hard you’ll have one too. Maybe not in your backyard, or in a pontoon, but they are there if you think of one or two.

– I know you like dogs – you have a few of those. They are loud and certainly like to run the show. Don’t feed them too much, because it’s hard on those legs, as short as they are they might just give way.  But I jest of course, they are cute to see – and not very nice when I step in their pee. Take them outside and give them a dust, and bring them back in and give them a hug.

– I know you like the outdoors, hiking along in the woods. Nature’s beauty is true, and it happens that you are beautiful too. I share the love of the woods just as you do, maybe that came from heaven when I was born to you.

– You like your television shows, of course you do. I like to watch them sometimes too. Though I hope you like my stories, and give those a try, if they make you go to sleep you could try and pry your eyes. Keep them open, and let the words through, and you might just see in my writing a bit of you.

I know  I only list a few things, but I have more so please stay tuned. Below are my feelings I want to express about you.

– You remember that time when we were out on Apple Road and those bad men showed?  I remember how you stood your ground and looked at those men and stared them down. A strong willed woman is what was caught in their eyes, and they turned away to my surprise. Yes indeed i saw something in you, strength and honor and integrity too.

– You recall that time I stepped on that nail? It went straight through my foot, and stuck out on top. You came to me in a quick hop. You wrapped me up in your arms, and carried me home, it was quite the distance you trekked all the way down the road. I held onto your neck so not to fall, and  you held me tight telling me it would be alright. On and on until you tired, you sat me down, and started to perspire, but you didn’t quit you kept on doing what moms do, you got me to the hospital in a jiff or two.  I recall that day and how much you cared, I felt it in me and everywhere. I glowed from inside you might not have known, so I’m telling you now because I want you to come home.

– I know you’ve been sick for a while that is true. I am away right now and thinking of you. I tried to call but the line didn’t pick up, I’ll try again later and wish for some  luck.  I will pray for you so that God may do as He will, and keep you safe from all that is here. As I look outside into the star lit night I can’t stop but to that think about your light. That light that is around you and anyone who knows you can see – it ebbs and flows as easy as can be. Caring, loving, and supportive too that is what makes you special and that is why I love you.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Sincerely Your Son,

D.W. Rigsby

Go with the Flow

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Ever feel like you can’t breath? Your chest is tight, your jaw clinched, your focus impaired.  It happens when things just come down on you like  a ton of bricks. It’s as if you can’t move, your flexibility is gone, your understanding of how things work seems to went awry, and your confidence in yourself is shot.

Stress has no where to go. It festers, it builds, it wants to discharge but it can’t, there is no outlet. I can meditate, or pray and those things do help.  But the reality of it is that you’ve lost control and it’s probably why you feel stress.

Do you really have control anyway? That is the real question. I’d say no we don’t.  We make decisions – but making a decision to say – getting out of bed, is not the same as being in control.  You may think it is the same, but truly it is not. Control is believing that the circumstances around  you can be managed, and held accountable. Decisions are what we do to manage our circumstances or to deal with our situations.

I decided to get up at 7:30 AM – and when I got to work my boss had three deliverables waiting on me.  He tells me I have until COB to complete them. So, what do I do? I stress. I work hard to meet the deadline. The whole time I’m thinking will I meet the deadline or fail.  You can make decisions to try and manage the situation but you cannot guarantee the outcome – you are not able to control it.  So, realize you cannot control the outcome, but you can manage to make good sound decisions.  If your best is not good enough, well let your boss deal with how he’ll manage it, because he’ll soon experience the same stress, the same sense that he’s lost control. And he never had it to begin with.

I’m not in control am I? Nope, I’ve let  go of control.  That is the benefit of being away from your electronic leash, or the responsibilities of home, or all the other countless things you are trying to control.  Let it go.  This is the time to think on what it was you were doing to help avoid this stress. I thought of hiking, camping, and being out in the woods. I was doing a lot of it lately, then I strapped myself back to my chair and desk for the past two months, and stress built back up.

So, why does getting out, being in nature, and just admiring what is around me work? It’s because I am not in control of the heat, of the cold, of the rain, or the sun, and if the wind blows it does it on its own. I am not in control. I am apart of life. It is this innate understanding that our daily lives are no different. We must realize we are a part of life, and that we are not in control of it. Then we can let ourselves relax and go with the flow.

Sincerely,

D.W. Rigsby

MacGyver Mode – What did I use this for?

MacGyver

Before bike week in Daytona, my motorcycle was giving me some issues. Basically, it wouldn’t start. Every time I would turn the ignition it would sputter, start, but when I increased the throttle it would choke out.  Something was wrong – and so I started with the carburetor.  I did some research and found the problem might be the pilot jet. It’s job is to feed fuel to the engine, just enough, so when you give it more throttle the main jet takes over without choking out the engine.

I pulled the pilot jet out of the carburetor. It was clogged. When you hold the pilot jet pin up against light, you are supposed to see that light come through. It wasn’t. I cleaned the pin with a cleaner, and a small needle. Once the eyelet was cleared, I put the pilot jet back into the carburetor, and closed it back up.  When I went to start the engine it roared.

This past weekend I decided to jump on my KLR-650 Enduro, and take a ride to the rear entrance of Lake Louisa State Park.  It hummed right along just fine. I parked in the dirt lot, no one else around. Some walkers, joggers came through doing an event – looked like the last leg of it and the last of them.  I locked up my gear, and went for a hike.

I was chugging along on the sand path just taking in the beauty of nature and feeling the very hot sun above. I’d brought with me two Dansani bottles of water, some almonds, a book, my phone, and IPod.  Along the way I got to talk for a while with my life long friend Chris from Ohio on the phone.  Time passed and I was close to being on the trail for two or more hours. I decided to turn back not knowing if I could circle around and from the looks on my GPS, I couldn’t.  So, I hiked back, slow, steady, and a little tired.

When I finally got back to my motorcycle I was beat, hungry and thirsty. I had drank all my water, and ate all my almonds. It was time to go. I suited up, started the motorcycle and shifted it into first gear.  I went forward through some dirt, but it ended up being more like mud. My rear tire sank and I gunned it to get out.  Wet dirt flung out from the rear, and I weaved and spun my way out of the rut and onto the dirt road. Suddenly the engine stalled. Strong scent of gas fumes filled the air. At first I thought maybe I busted a line. Then I thought about where my fuel line runs and it didn’t make sense to me. I tried to start the engine and it all but sputtered. It started a few times, but quickly died again once I hit the throttle. I was stranded.

Three young ladies in their twenties, wearing bikinis had come walking down the wooden bridge that leads from beach on the lake to the where I was.  One asked me if they needed to call 911. I sort of chuckled to myself as I didn’t feel I was in any immediate danger. I quickly thanked her, then stated I had AAA and would call them if I couldn’t get the motorcycle running.

As I worked on the motorcycle the ladies asked me if I knew what was wrong. I told them I thought it was the pilot jet – that it was probably clogged again and that I had taken the carburetor apart and cleaned it about a month ago. They seemed a bit perplexed and started to make jokes.

“How about just turn it off and back on,” one of them said.

“Yeah, I wish I could just reboot it. That would be great wouldn’t it,” I said.

“Maybe you can format the drive,” another said.

“Yeah, I don’t think that works on this model,” I said.

I think they were just trying to lighten things up making silly references to their phones, and computers.

I told them if I had the right tools with me, I could take the carburetor apart and see if the issue was the pilot jet and if so, I could clean it and get the motorcycle up and going.

The three ladies left eventually and I finally gave up on trying to start my motorcycle. I reluctantly called AAA.

“Hello, how may I help you,” a lady from AAA said.

“Hmm, my motorcycle is broke down. I need someone to come and tow it back to my house,” I said.

The AAA folks put me in touch with their dispatcher group, because my coverage only was for my cars. They said they’d call back in about 45 minutes.

I hung up the phone, which was setting at 25% power now and sat down. I thought for a moment – “forty five minutes. I can either wait or I can try and fix my engine with the tools I had on hand.”  I had already done an inventory but I decided to have another go at it.

I got up – walked over to an outside water spicket that was above my shoulders. Turned the water on and rinsed my hair, and face to cool off. I dried my hands on my shirt, and went back to the motorcycle.

I opened the back case on the rear of the motorcycle, and began to sort through it. I had a Philip screwdriver, a pair of  pliers, but I was certain I needed a flat head screwdriver. Oh, well – I’ll first see if I can get the bottom plate off the carburetor and then deal with the issue needing a flat head.

I used the Philips head screwdriver, loosened the clamps on the intake., took off the throttle cable, and then twisted the carburetor towards me.  I had replaced my Phillip screw heads in the carburetor previously with hex heads, because the cross heads had stripped on me and I had to drill them out.  Now with these hex heads in place, I took the pliers, clamped down on the heads one at time and worked them all off slowly.  I finally got all four of them, but it was not as easy as it could have been with a socket wrench.

I pulled the bottom plate off and there in the bottom of the carburetor was my pilot jet pin.  Now it all made sense.  Somehow when I was in that rut, coming up out of it, the pin finally vibrated completely loose and fell out.  I took the pin, held it up to the sun and could see the light shining through the pin hole. That was a good sign. Apparently when I put the pilot jet back in after cleaning it a month ago, I had backed it out too far.  You are supposed to tighten it down all the way, then back it off one and half turns.

So now is the fun part of it all. AAA still has not called me, and I’m thinking if I had a flat head screwdriver I could fix this and be on my way. I called my brother. left a message and hoped he would call back and bring one to me.

But I didn’t wait. I went into MacGyver mode.  MacGyver is an old 80’s TV show where Angus MacGyver can get out of anything with  a Swiss Army Knife, a paper clip and duct tape.

I searched my case again, looking for anything I could use to manufacture a flat head screwdriver. Then it popped into my head. My knife. I could use it. I took out my pocket knife, inserted the pin into the carburetor and tried to use the knife to feed it back in, but it was no use. The knife was too large to go into the small cylinder the pilot jet had to go into.   So, I searched again for something to use.

I found my air gauge, and on the side of it is a clip. I took the clip off, then using my knife bent the tip some, then used my pliers to flatten it out. And would you know, I had a flat head.

I took the clip, fed the pin up into the carburetor and used the clip to tighten it all the way down, then I backed it off one and half turns.

I was so excited now. I checked my phone and there were no missed calls.

I buttoned up the carburetor and started the engine. VAAAOOOMMMM. It revived up. Now I was in business.

My back ached, my legs were sore, I was overheated, hungry and ready to get home. My brother called – he could hear the engine in the background.  I told him I was headed home and if I had any troubles I’d call him back.

I suited back up. Got onto the motorcycle, put it in gear and was waiting for it die on me, but it didn’t. I rode all the way home with no issues. Hurray!!

As soon as I got into the house, I went to the fridge cracked open a bottle of Angry Orchid Hard Cider and took a drink. It was so sweet, and perfect at that moment.

When I got home I had found my sister was trying to find me, my mom was worried about me, and that my brother was playing tricks saying I was lost in the woods, and Bigfoot was going to get me. lol.  Haha brother.

I realized a few things. Trying things on your own, even if you fail can help you later when you have an issue.  Also that without adversity, or struggle, the good things in life don’t seem as great. But when you have struggles and then those good things show up, like knowing people love you and want you to be safe, or the sweet taste of a hard cider just seems well, better.

Sincerely,

D.W. Rigsby

 

Journal Entry 03292015 – LOYS

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I’m a 43 year old man, a husband to my wife, and a father to my two sons.  I work 40-50 hours a week at a high tech company. I have a mortgage, I pay bills, and I have a dream.

You thought that dreams could not come true but they can.  My dream is to write for a living. One day the work I do will become my way of life. Writing to me is like drinking water, or breathing air. I just do it without thought. It is a part of the fabric that makes me who I am. I cannot claim to the best, I cannot claim to be the most successful, but what I can claim is my perseverance.

Oh, there have been times I wanted to quit. The gnawing thought in my mind telling me that I cannot be a writer or no one will buy what I write.  Fear – it disguises itself and tries its damnedest to keep us from achieving what is ours.

I want to create, I want to take people into a world they’ve never been before. I want to share with all my thoughts, my insights, myself.

Live Out Your Story. This is my motto. I am doing that.

Recently, I knew I needed to get outside more, be in nature and spend time with my youngest son.  So, I took him on four or five camping trips in the last three months. I’ve experienced so much peace it is unbelievable. I followed what was on my heart to do, finally, instead of putting it off, and the after effect was a true blessing.  Even now as I think about our first trip, going down the Ocklawaha river, two inexperienced boat men trying to navigate logs in the water, the winding curves, and of course there were alligators.  We only saw the one small alligator, but I knew the larger ones were just beneath my boat, waiting. After the two and a half hours – we realized something – we were alive! It felt great!

So, do what is on your heart and Live Out Your Story – LOYS.

Sincerely,

D.W. Rigsby

Copyright ©2015 DW Rigsby All Rights Reserved.

 

Journal Entry 03242015 – LOYS

Here I am – writing, well more like tearing my story apart. I am frustrated. I wrote 400 pages only to find out that my story lacks.  This negative thought for some reason enters my mind like a worm, burrowing deep into the conscious, making its way into my subconscious. It is a disease, a parasite, or perhaps something else entirely.

I work hard to create a positive thought, one to oppose the gnawing ache in my head.  I need to stop trying to make my first 200 pages work in unison. I must take a step back, and break the story up into parts. This will allow me to focus my energy, my creative thought.

If I think I can – like the little choo-choo can, I can.

Step by step, brick by brick, I will build this story. I will take the time needed to make it level before I slap mortar on for it to cure. Yes, time. I’ve been at this for several weeks, and today over two hours, maybe longer and I still have an eight to ten hour work day on top of it.

What is my goal? What does it mean for me to achieve? I will write this story Tokus Numas. I will finish it. One day at a time I suppose, but I will get there. I must set my mind to do.  The worm will not have its day today. I will stop it before it goes any deeper, and keep it at bay, building up my defenses for the next attack.

Oh and it will come – the attack. This is only a test of my defenses, to find the chink in my armor. Where is my weak point – it searches. But for now I’ve held my ground.

Sincerely,

D.W. Rigsby

Copyright ©2015 DW Rigsby All Rights Reserved.

Journal Entry 03232015 – LOYS

Fear

Everything we do begins in our mind.  Whether we like it or not. The mind is a powerful instrument and it can derail us if we let it. Have you ever had that same ole embarrassing scene playing in your head like a broken record?

Your office has an offsite event and everyone is showing up, to include all the managers. It’s going to be at Epcot, one of those cultural restaurants exotic cuisine.  You put on your best attire, as you want to impress. You have on  your wing tipped black shoes, your charcoal suite and a deep blue dress shirt. Of course it’s between 85-90 degrees outside but you go with it.

As you take the elevator down to the lobby and step out of the sliding doors, you feel good about yourself, but then you notice everyone is dressed in shorts, hats, sunglasses, even though the sun is going down, and some are even sporting Hawaiian shirts. You think to go and change because you are one of the few that live in Florida and have a wardrobe that fits quite well – the Hawaiian shirt, the Khaki shorts, your Birkenstocks, but it’s too late. Everyone coming out of the hotel are piling onto the buses to go to Epcot.

Of course you feel out of place and there’s nothing to be done but to try your best to enjoy the evening. As you step onto the bus and sit down next to your colleague, you get a strange look. You know it’s how you dressed but you try and keep your composure, but then fall into the trap of making excuses. “I thought we were supposed to dress up since it’s a dinner with the managers.” But none of the managers are dressed up. They’ve got ball caps on, t-shirts, shorts and look very comfortable.

After the dinner is over you go back to your hotel room, get undressed as quickly as possible to try distance yourself from the embarrassment of being overly dressed but it doesn’t go away. So for now on you play that same ole scene over and over again, ridiculing yourself. It’s this broken record that at times runs on and on without us even knowing. You’ll catch yourself playing it though you probably will not stop it, you’ll just go along with it.

It’s these thoughts that cripple us. Over and over we play the same scenes, the ones were we messed up, the ones where we made a fool of ourselves or the ones where we hurt someone else’s feelings. These thoughts keep you from growing and will keep you from Living Out Your Story – LOYS. You may think that last part is over-the-top.  Think about it. Is it really?

I’m on a journey. Today I’ve put all those negative thoughts on hold so I can focus on Living Out My Story – LOYS. I’m writing an epic science fiction called Tokus Numas. I plan to blog about my journey, to share with you how I’m learning to Live Out My Story. I hope this helps you to see who I am, to connect, and to maybe draw inspiration for your own story.

My journey is this – to write my book Tokus Numas. Each day I must fend off negative thought. Each day I must remind myself to carry forward. Each day I must visualize and realize the path that lay ahead. Each day I must take action towards my goal. Each day I will focus my energy while trying to keep balance in my daily life. Each day I will thank God.

Sincerely,

D.W. Rigsby

Image Credit: Corona of the Sun during a Solar Eclipse by Smithsonian Institution

Copyright ©2015 DW Rigsby All Rights Reserved.

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