Do you ever wonder what would happen if people would just stop for a moment, think about what they are about to say, and give consideration before saying it? We all make mistakes no doubt, and some of us just haven’t developed the communications skills to state something in a more considerate manner. I know I am guilty of it, and I hope anyone who’s felt that I was being inconsiderate at a given point in time will forgive me now.
I think there are times when consideration just doesn’t fit, like when you are in a heated debate with someone over who’s going to be the next president of the United States. No, not really – we can be considerate here too. But there will be times when it won’t fit, but for the most part I think we can all work to fit it in most times.
Being direct is a good form of communications but can easily slip into being inconsiderate of the other person you are speaking to. For those who are direct – try and think of a different way to say the same thing, that might lesson the harsh words you generally prefer to use. Example – “you’re an idiot.” One could say this instead, ” I think you should read the directions before you begin.” Or “I think you might have overlooked what you were trying to express, so maybe you should think about changing your tactic.”
There are other ways of saying something that can come off as condescending but I’m not suggesting we go there but it is easy to do.
Example:
Direct form – “Your an idiot.” Condescending: “I think you might want to go back to K-12, and retake your finals, after say 14 years of classroom development.” Or this one ” Did you ever learn to read? Was it hard?” And there are still many, many ways to slice and dice a good sentence to make someone feel like a total piece of garbage.
So, I’m just thinking out loud again. I learned to be considerate from my mom, who no doubt learned it from her mom. She passed it to me, and I’m trying desperately to pass it to my sons. Though at home – I do tend to throw a few zingers here and there, mostly in jest but I need to watch it.
Also, one more thing – we are talking about consideration for others and so consider this. If someone tells you that your work, your life, or whatever it is you are doing is worthless. First don’t listen to them. Folks who communicate this way are only out to do one thing and that is to tear you down. Second – I want you to be considerate to yourself and not respond to them in an inconsiderate manner.
Sincerely,
D.W. Rigsby