It has to do with everyday life, it lends itself to others, it gives us what we want and weighs on our minds.
I’m describing money.
I wrote an earlier post on this topic that didn’t quite convey what I meant. So, here I am trying to sort it out.
Money meant a way out for me, it was the one thing that could change my life from what I remember as a young boy. Living in dilapidated houses, campers, with other people, taking showers in the rain, or the creek bed and getting my drinking water from an old well, were things I wanted to put in my past. Not to mention going without food at times, or having my electric shutoff during the winter along with the gas to where I could see my own breath in the house.
Those were tough times and my mom did the best she could for us. Money was an issue in our home. We just didn’t have much of it. What we did have met most of our needs, most of the time with help from friends and family but there were times our needs simply were not met at all.
Since that time, I’ve worked hard to move out into the world to earn a decent wage. It became a passion of mine. I use to have this motto – “If I don’t know what I want to do for a living, I might as well earn as much as I can while I live.” It’s not a bad motto and has worked for me these many years.
Time has passed now and I’ve spent over 20 years in telecommunications/data/internet technologies. I like technology, it fascinates me as well as how we use it. Though I’ve found something more important to me – writing.
My mind has had a change in paradigm – “Is having a high paying job I like, instead of a lower paying job I love, the best thing for me?”
It’s a question I ponder a lot these days. It’s because I’ve went from knowing how to survive with very little money to living with a good salary that supports my family. I find at times I would like to write more, and make less but that’s not my reality yet.
It comes down to money. It really does. Money represents my time, my life’s energy so I must look around and to see where my life’s energy is going. I think my energy is going to good things, but is also spent on things I shouldn’t invest.
Things need to change for me – either I find a way to make more money off my writing or I find a way to reduce my living so once I begin to earn money from writing so I’ll be able to make my living.
I have a dilemma with my writing, I do it for me. I write for myself, stories that interest me. I do try to weave into my stories unexpected scenarios and outcomes that I enjoy. I know there are writers who can write for the masses, I’m not sure I’m one of them. It’s possible many readers will share in what I create but I won’t know until enough people have seen my work and have responded.
My only option is to keep writing and to write for me in hopes others will enjoy the worlds I create. If that happens the money will follow.
For now I will give both my time and money for what I love to transform my life’s energy into something more meaningful to me. Maybe even the world might find what I do meaningful.
Image Credit: Money Cip by Shardayyyy
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